


Say No To Hydra Cap

by Chess_Blackfyre



Series: Adventures of the Savage Scarlet Hulk [6]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy Lewis is having none of your bullshit, F/M, Steve Rogers is Not a Nazi, say no to HYDRA cap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7092493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis finds out something...disappointing about her husband. She and her brother-in-law soon rectify it.</p><p>(A reaction piece to you-know-what)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say No To Hydra Cap

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so...yeah. Worst Marvel storyline in the history of ever. Good news though, it'll be retconned or resolved in a year, tops.
> 
> Rated T for some language and (non-graphic) discussion of sexy times.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Hail Hydra."

 

"Yeah...no." Scarlet Hulk deadpanned.

 

"Come again?"

 

"No. Nope. Nyet. Nien. Nadda." Iron Man looked over to her.

 

"Your husband just revealed that he's been a HYDRA agent this whole time, and all you have to say is 'no' in varying languages?" Tony snarked.

 

"Because that's just a big load of bullshit."

 

"This must pain you, my beloved, but truly--"

 

"Yeah, no. Cause A: before you were this Aryan wet dream you were a sickly skinny little kid that would have been thrown right in the gas chambers along with my ancestors. B: the serum wouldn't have worked on you. C: You married me, a proud, if not exactly the most observant, Jewish woman. So yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that. Mind control? I'm gonna go with mind control."

  
"The evidence lies before you and yet you refuse to believe, you've always been so short-sighted and foolish."

 

"Well there's no need to get nasty." She deadpanned, right as he threw his newly painted shield right at her face. "Like that." She deadpanned as she easily dodged out of the way. He used her distraction to go for a spinning kick, she caught his foot, and then used it to dangle him off the ground. "Okay, listen up, run buns--"

 

"Run buns?" Stark asked.

 

"Because he likes to run, and I like his buns." She drawled out. Steve managed to use his momentum to swing out of her grasp, hitting her in the solar plexus and rolling away. "So, this is going to be annoying." She said, leaping up and putting him in a nelson.

 

“You seem as eager to meet me in battle as you once did in bed." Hydra!Steve baited.

 

“At least here I know you’ll be adequate.” She deadpanned.

 

“Shots fired.” Tony said, even as he had an: 'omg girl you didn’t’ look on his face and hand repulsers pointed right at Steve's face.

 

"Cut off one head--"

 

“Okay, I'm out of patience.” She said, and in some sort of judo move, kept her hold on Steve while grabbing Steve’s head and thrusting it in between her breasts--all while remaining on top of him. He passed out in a matter of seconds.

 

“Never fails.” She sighed. The Scarlet Hulk then tied him up and hauled her over his shoulder. "We'll be heading up to the cabin for a couple of days. Maybe even a week or two. Tell Bucky to meet us there and to bring the kit."

 

"The kit...should I be concerned?" Tony asked.

 

"Don't worry, we're not going to torture him. We're just going to use some psychological techniques on him until he's back to normal."

 

"Okay then."

 

* * *

 

Steve Rogers woke up in his pajamas tied to a chair in a rustic hunting lodge. The love of his life and brother were there waiting. Also, his face felt kind of sore.

 

"What's going on?" He asked, trying at those restraints. They were holding...for now.

 

"This is an intervention, Steve. You have weird, devil-ish thoughts running through your mind and we won't have it."

 

"Is this about the bisexual thing because I thought you said we were cool."

 

"No, you are hella bi and I am hella fine with that sweetie. What's happening is that HYDRA appears to have done something with your mind. You were brainwashed into thinking you were an agent of Hydra and had been this whole time.

 

"But that makes literally no sense." He said.

 

"I know right!" Bucky said. "And they appear to have planted memories as well, because you went on and on about how your mother was saved from your abusive father by an agent of hydra--"

 

"My dad died before I was born."

 

"Yep. Anyway, they recruited her and she recruited you." Steve gave a startled gasp.

 

"My mother would  ** _never_** \--" he spat, voice full of anger.

 

"I  _know!_ " Both of them scoffed as one.

 

"I made this HYDRA de-programming kit in case I ever fell victim to them again." He held up a half-filled black backpack.

 

"That explains the handcuffs. So...what else?"

 

"We've been using a Pavlovian technique. We'd show you a picture of the HYDRA symbol, and then punch you in the face. It's been proving pretty effective."

 

"Not to mention more than a little emotionally satisfying." Bucky admitted.

 

"So...when are you going to let me out of these...Jesus Christ what is this, vibranium?" He indicated the handcuffs.

 

"Adamantium, but the two are pretty close." Darcy said.

 

"So, since I'm good now, can you please just let me out of here?" Bucky and Darcy exchanged glances.

 

"Well," she said, sitting down on his lap and looping her arms around his neck. "You have been a very good boy." She said kissing his forehead, then both his cheeks, all while her pussy was rubbing right up against his crotch. They shared a long, slow, sloppy kiss with tongue before she leaned closer to him, and whispered into his ear: "Hail Hydra."

 

"Hail Hydra." He responded, utterly failing the test.

 

"Damnit!" She cursed, then knocked him out with a Brooklyn head-but. "Barnes, get the slides, we're going to have to go over this again."

 

And over and over and over again, until her husband stopped being evil, and the world once more made some goddamn sense. 


End file.
